All Good Junkies Go to Heaven

The fluidity of our bodies in motion

colliding together in phenomenal emotion

no past, no future only this present intimacy

listening to the body and responding tenderly 

pure adulation of beauty call it lust?

heart’s racing, spine tingling call it love?

Two cars crash and we’re looking from up above

As we sit oceans apart in two trees. Just us.

Our love despite the distance will never split us up.

By Alex Stedman

19 years and I hope that you rot.

And as you’re getting sentenced, think why didn’t you stop?

Inspired by a crazy man I met yesterday at work in Leicester Square:

More intelligence than the average man

too much though, no one will understand

a rant and a near breakthrough

I try to get it, but I don’t know you

the jigsaw is there, but the pieces don’t match

the plan’s like an egg that will not hatch

but your decisions based on religion are clear

but lack precision to fulfill your mission right here

And then I quit, I back out and break that tendons that attach

the brief moments of brilliance that you snatch

By Alex Stedman

Sheep follow sheep, but where is the wolf?

This is real life and it’s no longer school

And karma’s a bitch and God does exist

at least as far as I know, I’ve experienced Him.

But I’m not one to preach, no lessons to teach

but how you act here is not the same as on the street

By Alex Stedman

So sick of being stuck in this little room with nowhere to go and no one to turn to

but this life is getting better day by day

and why are humans so concerned with being human?

Sometime I wish that I was an animal with instincts and not concerned on who is loving who

I’d still be right there with you

but problems wouldn’t seem so big

and maybe the whole world could live

in perfect harmony

By Alex Stedman

This past week has been very strange. A lot of fantastic things have happened. Not just to me, but to the people around me as well. It’s amazing how quickly it can all change. Tuesday for example was one of those days. I had to wake up early to get back to London, I woke up excited for the journey back, but bit by bit my mood deflated as the day continued. Not even positivity from my girlfriend was helping. I got back to my flat, switched on my laptop and had an email about a great opportunity for an audition on Monday. The day was getting better! Earlier that day I’d received an email about the show in Edinburgh so now lots of work was coming in. I had work flyering that evening, it was a shift like any other until I got a text message from my girlfriend that made me so very happy. It appeared that karma had turned up and things were going to get a lot better. Every prospective visitor to the comedy club after this news was met with a huge grin as I struggled to not run around like a happy maniac. Wednesday was THE DAY. Very nervous, the feeling that I have learned to recognise and slightly enjoy, all the same I was glad when it was done, but it was very exciting. I felt on top of the world, ready to take this next step in my career. That night me and 2 mates went to Oceana in Kingston. Had a fantastic time, great music with lots of alcohol being consumed.

Then other things happened, that I will write tomorrow.

By Alex Stedman

for the first time in my life I’m getting scared of losing my mind

maybe it’s lack of focus on small things some of the time

but I’m forgetting things that I would usually just know

but now these little things are starting to go

I should seek some guidance and some help

because surely this is bad for my health

but I’ll probably sit on it for years and then one day it will go

and I’ll find these words and to the doctor this I shall show

By Alex Stedman

Back to London tomorrow, work and a very important meeting on Wednesday followed by Oceana Kingston with my friends. I’m not usually a big Oceana guy and haven’t been to the one in Bristol since I first turned 18, 5 years ago. The one in Kingston is different though, it seems to have less of a stigma attached to it than the Bristol one, also it’s a lot more chilled out and there’s a cool vibe going on there. It’s also a student night and very cheap which is rare for London. Hopefully on Wednesday I’ll have things to celebrate as well! 

Time is a friend and not an enemy

it will never end and it’ll defend me

running away it will always catch up

and embrace you in it’s arms with love.

By Alex Stedman